Skip to main content

The key to Happiness

A few weeks or maybe months before, I admit I was kinda lost especially in adjusting myself in the new world I have now. Which is... a mother's life. 

Nak adjust jadi wife tu quite easy since me and husband quite easy to get along. Cuma bila dah ada anak tu I rasa my life turned 360 degrees kot rasanya. Lol. Dari seorang yang ambitious, kerja kuat, selalu out and about.. I kena jadi orang yang tak ada ambition (pada mulanya), duduk rumah 24/7, dan memang financially dependent dekat suami. 
 
Wallahi rasa sangat tough pada awalnya. Tapi lepas lama2 i cuba cari balik positive vibes tu, alhamdulilah i found it! Thanks to AA yang banyak buat video positive walaupun I miss her so much since dah lama gila AA tak update vlog, ig or anything. Okay now back to the story..

Selepas journey to find back my "happiness", i rasa I dah berjaya reroute semula apa itu happiness dalam hidup i. Kalau dulu happiness i more to self centered dan kejayaan luaran, now benda² kecil tapi besar di mata Allah lah kejayaan dan happines yang sebenarnya. Dulu i rasa sense of achievement hanyalah bila belajar tinggi, gaji tinggi. Tapi nope. It's totally not just that. 

Happiness i sekarang is to get to raise my own boy. I suka kiss dia, hug dia all the time tanpa perlu rasa rindu atau risau berjauhan dengan dia. Itu pun kadang2 dia tidur i dah rindu, lol. Azam i ialah nak jadi best version of me menjadi seorang isteri & ibu.. 

Bila Yasa sakit hari tu, nak dekat seminggu lebih jugak. I rasa sangat bersalah. Sebab a night before Yasa almost nak kena admitted dekat hospital, I ada "marah" dia sebab dia tak nak tolerate bila kami keluar jalan². I cakap lebih kurang macam ni 

"Yasa.. mummy pun nak ada life jugak. Please lah tolerate dan bagi kerjasama dengan mumy. Bagi mumy keluar dan berjalan jugak".

But little did I know. Bukan lah yasa sengaja nak bad mood at that day, rupa²nya dia tak sihat. Poop berdarah lagi tu! Serius kot. Masa dia sakit keesokan harinya tu, I menangis teruk2 sebab risau dia kena warded, atau worst Allah marah dekat I dan nak "ambil" anak I balik, dan macam2 lah. I cried and i said sorry to Yasa. Wallahi, from that moment i sangat² fobia. Sekarang kalau Yasa bad mood sekali pun, I akan cuba memahami punca dan kalau dah dia tak nak senyum, tak nak orang lain dukung dia, I tak akan force him anymore or compare him to anyone else. My baby is my baby. My Yasa has his own personality and I love him just the way he is.

So melalut panjang2 ni i cuma nak cakap.. the key to happiness sekarang ni yang I tahu dan baru belajar ialah SYUKUR dan REDHA. Syukur dengan apa yang ada.. fokus pada kelebihan dan bukan kekurangan kita. Kalau tengok kekurangan dan compare je sampai nafas terakhir pun kita boleh rasa tak pernah cukup. Dan redha ialah bila kita ada apa2 ujian, kita terima dan berlapang dada.. inshallah, dua ni i rasa dah buat life i 2, 3 hari ni lebih tenang dan stabil.

Semoga i boleh terus istiqamah. I sangat2 rindu AA sebanarnya. Dari video dia lah yang Allah tunjukkan dua key of happiness ni. Di mana² pun AA berada, semoga Allah jaga AA, sayang AA dan keluarga dan semoga mereka baik2 saja. Amin ya rabb..

Love, FN

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My ways to cope with anxiety/overthinking/worry

So today, I am going to write the progression of my previous post, Regarding of my anxiety and twitching problem. Previously, that twitching problem is so severe that it happened like every 5 minutes. But Alhamdulillah,  It's getting better daily. Now I have only a slight twitching. And hopefully, I can fully be cured by this soon. For my anxiety, It will be sugar coating and lie if I say I no longer have it, But I think, it is under control. The ways that I did to control them will be listed as follows. Maybe I can help somebody out there if they also feel this kind of "pain" Acknowledge that you have anxiety. And accept it. (Acknowledgment and acceptance is a very important step in fixing your anxiety. Denying that you are not having them will make you feel stress without realizing it) Ask yourself these questions:- Are you stress? If yes, what makes you stress? Can you list them? Can you identify why those things make you stress? What can you do to remove the stress ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Be strong Faten

All my life, I have been struggling. Bila struggle tu, rasa macam I lah paling struggle. But of course I was wrong, lebih banyak, ribuan mungkin jutaan manusia/individu yang lebih struggle dari I. I know I am selfish, terasa seperti paling tersakiti, teruji. Walhal banyak lagi manusia yang lagi besar ujian from me.  I know. I know.  But I just don't know how to fight the demon in me. I can blame my childhood trauma, I can blame people, but blaming will never solve my problem. My question to myself is.. Okay Faten, what's next?  I am super duper thankful to Allah my husband is my support system. The biggest and strongest. He may not know how to pujuk ke, nasihat ke, manja kan i ke, lol. But he is super duper helpful when I fall into sadness and feel like not moving or want to do anything, he will definitely help me. TQ sayang. Moga syurga buat suami ku.  So semalam, I nak heal, i nak anak i pun keluar jalan-jalan so my husband bawa kami dekat tepi sawah. Yes, our pla...
Post a Comment
Read more

We went camping!

                                             Alhamdulilah, All praises to Allah. If not Him who allowed us, we would never make it there. So, me and my husband went on our FIRST ever camping trip!!! Poor us because we never get the chance to go camping when we were in our school days, But Alhamdulillah, finally we got to feel that experience. I don't know where to start, but let me talk in rojak for this entry, lol Plannya adalah actually kami akan pergi with my ex-students. However, due to certain circumstances (nak cerita panjang, hee), only two of us je pergi. We went to GIBS Ecotourism Resort, the name of the place. Not so far, only 40 to 45 minutes from our home. Before we went there, dah plan dan excited tiba2 musim hujan datang. Hujan yang sangat lebat dan kadang2 ongoing. So sebab kami nak pegi dekat tepi sungai, of course worry tu ada. Kerisauan...
Post a Comment
Read more